I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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