My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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