The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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