I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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