Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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