Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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