there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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