Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize