So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
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I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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