im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize