Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize