I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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