i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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