you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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