omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize