I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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