The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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