and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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