i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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