I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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