But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize