it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize