Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize