I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My balls are so social today.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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