I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize