dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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