You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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