First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize