today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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