508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
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terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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