i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize