Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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