Pappa wants mamma naked
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
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He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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