nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize