i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize