She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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