I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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