Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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