i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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