i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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