So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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