hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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