you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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