OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I think I just sharted jello shots
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