Please, let me fuck your mom
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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