how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize