What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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