Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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