4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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