Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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